Since I was a teen, each time I apply lipstick, I feel like a fraud, like I'm playing dress up in my mom's clothes. I feel foolish and clown-like and pretentious, all at the same time.
I see women wearing bold reds, soft pinks and warm browns and they look gorgeous (and completely absent of clown-like pretensions). I'm tempted to make another trip to the cosmetics counter, because I want lips that look like that. And generally, once a year I submit to temptation. I usually wear it daily for the first week. Then, I put it on if we go out at night. Then, I forget about it until my next make-up bag purge of old, expired products.
This is similar to how I'm feeling about using Australian English.
At our Monday playgroup, we have a communal tea at 11:00. Each family brings a little something (crackers, fruit, cookies) and it's served at the table, family style. A new mom asked me how it worked and what I brought. When I said, "cookies", she corrected me and said, "you mean biscuits". She wasn't being mean about it, just making a little fun of my accent.
The thing is, I know they're called biscuits here, but I can't get myself to say it. Nor can I say lollies (for candy), petrol (gas) or mobile (cell phone). I can't make myself call a squash a pumpkin. Or a cantaloupe a rock melon. It feels like I'm pretending to be someone I'm not. Like I'm "putting on airs" (for lack of a better cliché).
I'm also struggling to us metric measurements in general conversation. For example:
Playgroup Mom: "Do you have far to walk home?"
Me: "Not at all, just a little over a mile."
PGM: giggling "A mile. You're so funny. A mile."
I know exactly how many kilometers playgroup is from the house (2.2 kms - my iPhone gives me driving/walking directions in km, not miles), but my mouth refused to say the words.
So which is better, to be the "silly American who refuses to adopt our culture" or the "silly American who thinks we don't know she thinks a biscuit is a cookie"?
Either way, it feels like putting lipstick on an American.
