I don't say butt anymore

When a friend's son was four or five (I can't remember exactly ... he's 17 now, it was a long time ago and I'm old), she put great effort into getting him to stop saying "butt" (I also can't remember why he started saying it in the first place, but suspect it had something to do with having a brother six years older who thought it was funny to get his little brother to say "butt" and annoy their mother, but I digress).  For months, he went around saying "I don't say butt anymore", thus finding a loophole in the "we don't use that word" reprimand. My friend just rolled with it and, upon getting no reaction, the toddler stopped saying it altogether. 

I remembered this tale of buttness after a recent unintentional ugly American incident.

Since his birth, I've used "bum" when talking with M to refer to the buttocks. My sister used it with her kids and I liked it. It was slightly cheeky, but not offensive. And, quick and easy to say (M mastered it early on). 

Then, B told me I needed to rethink my "bum" usage, especially with M. He informed me it would be the equivalent to saying "ass" in the US ... and not permitted at school.

I. Was. Mortified. I'd been a prolific user of "bum" with M at our playgroups.

On the slide: "Okay, not get your balance, sit on your bum, get your feet right aaaand let go!" or "Do you want to slide down on your bum or on your tummy?"
On the swing: "Shimmy up onto your bum ... hold on tight ... and away we gooooo."
After playing in the sand box: "Come see mommy so I can brush the sand off your bum."

My bum offenses go on and on.

First, I was embarrassed and didn't want to face the other mommies after having established myself as the vulgar American with the potty mouth. But I decided to just soldier on, change my vernacular and pretend it never happened (I initially considered apologizing to the groups, but decided this would make an even bigger deal of it).

Second, I became stumped with what to use instead. I don't like "butt". Or "bottom". Posterior? Derrière? Fanny? Rear? Rump? Tush or Tushy? 

Meh.

I'm leaning towards Tuckus, but would like to open up to suggestions. Australian playgroup-friendly suggestions. What have you got for me, people?

Until then, I don't say bum anymore.